After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
