So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Welp...herpes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
