Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
