bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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