We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
