Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
"it" just moved
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
