Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
