i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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