he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
