im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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