you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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