I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
