you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
