The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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