Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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