I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
