he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
