I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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