weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
