She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
