His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
