Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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