now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
