she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
