there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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