my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i think i have two assholes
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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