do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
