i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
