A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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