That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish I only lived at night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
