rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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