what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
