He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
