We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
