Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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