i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
