Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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