I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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