He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
