Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(931): View more from Tennessee

How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that

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(315): View more from New York

Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years

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(770): View more from Georgia

All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.

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(240): View more from Maryland

it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

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(914): View more from New York

I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental

(501): View more from Arkansas

You gave him a bj, not a kidney

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