Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I will pee on everything he values.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
