He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
