if i died would you start the facebook group?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
