We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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