You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
