I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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