All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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