would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
