Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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