rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
