Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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